loudmouth92 on Xanga

loudmouth92's Xanga Site	I am mad as hell and im no gonna take it anymore

loudmouth92

Name: karolena
Birthday: 9/15/1988
Gender: Female

Interests: I COLLECT BARBIES I love my dramma class, the enchanted pig lives on in my heart. laura and janella r.i.p.
Expertise: Acting, laughing, judging, trouble, shopping, planning, watching movies with rappers and laughing, rebelling agiainst my overbearing father( I still love him) Shoes, My grandparents going to their house across the street and eating their food and bothering and listening to them threaten my well being, calling my girls kailey nagina and amanda, Janella mack is the love of my life although i am not a lesbian like nagina I wnat to be just like her and taya when i grow up. my cousin avione from trinidad that can not cross the street. my beautiful black jessica simpson sister and her boyfriend with dread locks who bought her a rosary even though we are lutheRAN. accents, writing stories, poetry, being entertained, singing dancing, music, beyonce, britney spears, pink, mary j blige, alicia keys, gwen stephani, oprah and maya angelou. my white boyfriend alex who knows more words to the rap songs than I Do. KANKA 4 LIFE PG-13 ( does secret handshake) I LOVE B2K
Occupation: Student
Industry: Entertainment

Message: message me

Member Since: 5/2/2003

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Posting Calendar

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Sunday, May 07, 2006

My grandpas sick and hes in a horrible nursing home because no ther nursing home will take him in. I havent been to see him becasue I cant. I cant see my grandfather like that I cant. I'll die. The man who took me to school every day untill teh 7the grade. The mna whos house I have spent more than 50 percent of my life at. I cant see my tall storg abuelo. weak and dioriented. I bought the most beautiful prom dress today and my grandpa wont see me. He wont see me graduate. I feel so much pain and so much hurt right now but what about my grandma. She has been married to that man for over 50 yuears so dedicated to that man making him breakfast lunch and dinner for over 50 years taking care of him loving him. This is so hard for her and its breaking her down. what about my father, thats his dad. Thats his daddy, I think about how hard it is when he sees him like that. I dont know what my family is going to do I dot know how we are going to deal. i dont know If I can do this. My grandpa means so much to me. All the times he would drive my sister and I to school and tell us stories about trinidad and tell us about fights he used to get into and he would always win his fights. cuz he was my stong abuelo. I can think of so many times He has been there for me. Telling me thte truth about my self in such a simple way. He fell today. He's getting out of control. Right now Im so scared of the future. I am

so scared.

11:14 PM - 1 view - add eprops - add comments - email it

so scared.

11:14 PM - 1 view - add eprops - add comments - email it

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

I woke up this morning pissed off An I'm still pretty pissewd nobeody really did anything but im pretty pissed off. I wish I was famous sometimes so wouldnt have to deal with regular bullshit. Like changing te fucking cat litter or washing a shitload of dishes. I watched alot of tv todfay nothing was that good. yesterday at the sedar was semi fun It could have been funner it just felt weird a little bit. I dont know what it was but it was a little akward sometimes. i dont care I know who is real and who isnt! Im justy tired I dont want to hear anything from my parents mouth right now. Today just aint the day. Hopefully tommorow is better.

Im bored

10:07 PM - 1 view - add eprops - add comments - email it

Saturday, April 15, 2006

Awww the crazy lady is back ,my mom got out of the hospital thursday as soon as she got out my sister picked her up and her my grama and i went o costcos then modells then shopping other stores at mall

we wet shopping and the we went to ihop. Today she got on my nerves and we went to get our pidicures and manicure I have already messed up my pinkie french acrylic. My gpa's still in the hospital but he is doing better. I slept over my grandmas house to keep her company last night. I had fun! I saw my grandpa and he was good things are back to normal a little bit. I'm so glad In the end of the day family is all you got people dont forget it!

http://i30.photobucket.com/albums/c332/clearly89/HPIM0810.jpg

Me and aaron reid have the same phone he shopuld have called me and invited me to his sweet sixteen.

I want 2 pairs od sneakers ! my dad said i could have them

got to choose a fucking colloge and soon !

Got to get the hair done and easter outfit!

rooms a mess!

bought matching hats for me and gemini

gay

I miss justin

[IMG]http://i30.photobucket.com/albums/c332/clearly89/HPIM0810.jpg[/IMG]

why my freinds got to be so pretty

gay

senior trip 06

12:49 AM - 1 view - add eprops - add comments - email it

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

My biggest fear

Have your ever been in an ambulance before? Ever wonder how it feels? I couldnt tell you. Even though thats where I was sunday morning. My father woke me up and told me to got to churchj to psalms for my mother who was admitted to Long Island jewish hospital on saturday. That sunday grandpa suffered from a mini stroke that had to do with his diabetes. I took of my church clothes changed and went in the ambulance with my grandmother to teh hospital where I spent all of sunday trying to calm my grandmother who was trying to take care of my Grandpa who was peeing on himself and confused. we had to leave him in the emergency ward he didnt have a room yet. on monday i went to school but I couldnt think about school at all. Both my mom and my grandpa were sick. My grandma was worrying about my grandpa and my poor dad was running back in forth between the house and the hospital trying to be strong for the rest of the family. The hospital is intense the air is so sad. there is like an underlyimg theme of fear of death. monday afterschool when i went ot see my grandpa he was worse My grandmas was crying she is the strongest woman I know and to see her cry hurt so much more than i care to admit. Today my grandpa was much better. He knew who we were eand he could walk and talk and w\he was alert and eating. Th saddest part was in my moms roopm this old lady next to her the nurse was doing something to her and she was crying and saying owww and she sounded so frail and sad. Life is so precious! The sound of her voice will never ever leave me. SHe was tyhe same age as my grandma thank god she has good health though. Whenm we left grandpa wnated to come home with us and he couldnt. I'm not really that worried about my mom she is trooper and i know she can pull through her cysts and fibroids! I miss her! she still herself though! these past few days nake me realize who I am a little bit I always say i would sacrafice for my family that I would be there for them no matter what and I have been there very step of the way even though I hate hospitals. even though tehre were times whern i felt liek I couldnt handle watching my grndpa ask my grandmother who she was and get violent, and then call for people tha are dead or say he was in trinidad! Im stronger than I thought I was. we knew he had alzhemers but now reality has set in he will never be the same and its just teh begining of the pain but maybe just maybe I can pull through and be there for my family and help them cope. i miss my friends. I really do i miss gema nd Olivia an justin because they are the ones who took time to really say things to me that make me feel better.

11:20 PM - 1 view - add eprops - add comments - email it

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